How to make him want you bakc with 5 simple adjustments

Published: 23rd November 2011
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In the haze of a breakup it's easy to focus all your energies on the things you want such as getting back together. The mistake with this is that in reality you're forgetting about your ex boyfriend and his wants.

What's worse is that you might not see what your ex boyfriend sees. For example, are you needy and clingy? Are you constantly hounding him with texts and phone calls? Are you trying anything in your power to reconnect with him and get things back to the way they were before?

If so, it might be time to stop and take a look in the mirror.

I know this is going to sound harsh but I know what you're trying to do right now. You're trying to sell yourself to your ex and convince him to take you back. But what you need to ask yourself is: are you giving him something that he really wants?

No one ever gets back together until they both want to, so until your ex wants you back, no amount of begging or pleading is going to make him take you back. In fact it will drive him away.

The secret to getting him back is to become the girl he fell in love with.

I know that it sounds simple in theory, but the reality of the situation is that it's going to be more difficult than you think because of your emotions.

After the breakup you're going to have several emotions swirling around in your head from your past relationship. These emotions can make it harder for you to think and act straight when trying to reconcile with your boyfriend and your first moves after the breakup can dictate whether or not you'll end up together again.

Now that you're aware of this, don't make getting back together a priority because you'll just make a mistake that will drive him further away. Take time to clear your mind and get control of your emotions.

Mastering your feelings allows you to look at things differently making the path to reconciliation clearer and easier for you, especially since now you won't be jumping to conclusions that could put your efforts in jeopardy.

Every action and word you do and say needs to be focused around a specific goal and when you're thinking straight, everything else falls into place.

Bringing Back the Magic in Your Relationship to Make Your Ex Fall for You Again

Close your eyes and think back to when you and your ex first started dating. Do you remember how everything seemed perfect? Even though the magic fades, the memories don't.

Let's examine the positives of being broken up. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and so you've got a second chance to make him fall for you again.

To accomplish this, the only thing you have to do is recreate the circumstances that made your ex fall for you in the first place. What got him to want you the first time around will certainly get his attention again, as well as reminding your ex boyfriend of what it was like during that original, magical time.

Take a look at these 3 things that will help you put things back to the way they were before the breakup.

What you need to do right now is focus on yourself and take control of your emotions and attitude because these things will affect how he sees you. If your attitude is good, he'll see someone who's confident and happy with herself. The more you take care of yourself and build yourself up the more he'll be attracted to you.

Below, I'll outline 5 areas that you can work on to help get your ex boyfriend's attention. The harder your work and the more focused you are on these, the more progress you'll make. The no contact phase of your relationship is the ideal time to work on these things.

Ask any guy and he'll tell you, nothing is sexier than a girl who oozes confidence. Guys love a woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to go after it and a woman like that is always more attractive than one with little or no confidence.

Oddly enough, confidence is something that almost every woman looks for in a guy but what you might not know is that it's something that men want in a woman as well. Men want someone who isn't needy or searching for constant validation.

You might not feel confident right now and that's ok, after all you did just breakup, but you do need to tackle this head on soon. Everyone gets dumped at some point in their life, but you shouldn't let it get you down. Look at yourself in the mirror and get back on the horse. Without confidence the road to your ex boyfriend is a long, uphill climb.

Area 2: The Importance of Being Independent

Another trait that guys find sexy and attractive is independence. Most women like to think they're independent in the various aspects of their lives, but when it comes to relationships they can become clingy and needy without knowing it.

Independence is the exact opposite of being needy. An independent girlfriend is someone who doesn't need her boyfriend at all hours of the day and is capable of creating a fun environment for herself. This is a great trait to have as men are always more attracted to a woman who doesn't need them for every little thing.

The main reason that independence is so important when getting your ex back is that when he checks in with you to see how you're doing he wants to see that you're progressing and succeeding in life and not moping around. Becoming independent will go a long way to getting him back, especially if you relied heavily on him for everything in your relationship.

Area 3: Get a Social Life

Your ex isn't looking to rescue you right now and throwing a pity party for yourself won't get him back in your arms.

If your ex suspects that you're sitting alone in your house pining over him you put him in a position of strength. While you're still hung up on him, he doesn't need to worry about his greatest fear coming true: you moving on before he does.

The ideal situation for your ex is to keep the door open. He doesn't want to be your boyfriend again right now, but he also doesn't want to see you dating someone else either. He wants the door open in case he has a change of heart. Is it selfish? Perhaps. But that's where you're at right now.

Now that you know this, you need to do the opposite of what your ex expects and turn the tables on him. Instead of sitting at home waiting for the phone to ring, you need to be out having a good time surrounded by friends and family. When your ex sees you having a good time without him, his greatest fear will start to surface: the possibility of losing you to someone else.

There's a good chance that your ex is going to be jealous because he thinks that you should still be heartbroken over him. Your boyfriend liked to think that he was a major part of your happiness and for him to see that you can be happy without him is like a dagger twisting in his hear, especially if he's the one who let you go.

Area 4: Stop with the Drama

A big turnoff for men when it comes to women is someone who is constantly surrounded by drama. Men are fairly simple when it comes to their relationships and when it comes to commitment, a low key, easy going relationship wins out over a highly dramatized one every time.

A woman who's dramatic and high maintenance makes for a great fling, but not a great girlfriend. So if it's a committed relationship you're after, especially if you're trying to get back together after a breakup, keep this in the back of your mind.

Now don't get me wrong here, if there was some drama in your past relationship, that's alright. Sometimes things crop up that make us a little nutty. Nevertheless, what your man wants is stability and peace of mind in his relationship. So if you want to get him interested in you once again, tell him you're going to keep the drama and the water works to a minimum.

Steer clear of high drama situations after your breakup and let him see that you can function and have a great time without it.

Area 5: Be Happy with Your Life

At the end of the day, the best thing you can do for yourself is to be happy. The happier your ex thinks you are without him, the more likely he's going to want you back.

I know this sound counter intuitive right? But we all want what we can't have and the grass is always greener on the other side. What this means for you is that your ex will never want you more than right after you're gone. Strange but true.

However it's imperative for you that when your ex reflects on your relationship together he sees the right things. He needs to remember the good times you had together smiling and laughing and he needs to see you doing it...all without him there. You need to be having such a good time without him that he'll want to be part of it again. The more he sees you enjoying life without him, the more he'll scheme to try and get back into your life.

Keep in mind, he's lonely too. It's quite possible that after the breakup reality has set in and he's not enjoying life like he thought he would. By making yourself and your life attractive to him, he'll want to get back together with you and he'll remember the good times you had together.

Right about now your ex should start to miss you. Look out for the signs that your ex wants you back

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